Lost Love?
I know we all have that one person whom we have a crush on. An admiration that confirms our humanity. He/she is our coveted prize we wish we could have but are currently not in a position to do so.
We may follow intuitively into their lives every once in a while, to ensure this weakness doesn’t fade away. But what happens when we can get to them? What happens when we are able not to crush on them any longer but have to feel their love?
I do wonder. To some, I imagine it will be tasteless, the conquest has lost meaning. The prize is already acquired what else to run for? While this is the opposite of others who would cherish the moment. Thanking Heaven for sending what their hearts truly desire. Kinda like a fulfilment of a promise or that nature tends to conspire to make you achieve what you want to pursue.
I belong to the foremost group. My reasons are that you have already won the race, so why keep on running? Others may counter and say that it’s so that the title can be secured and safeguarded. Okay. Well, I guess then it’s a matter of personal preference and choice though not such a ‘good’ reason to defend my opinion.
Another is that throughout the crushing period, we dwelt in our imagination. And it’s said the power of imagination is what makes men run wild with ideas. The same way with the unseen/unknown. This fear of the unknown makes adrenaline pump overboard. It’s what makes the chase enticing and exhilarating to be more accurate. The same way with having an assignment and doing it close to its due date. The butterflies in the stomach make doing the assignment uncomfortable, but this makes you come up with ideas relevant to the assignment faster. I think you have been in a hot seat at any time in your life either a meeting with a boss/ a call by your discipline maestro/ in any place having to be answerable for the choice you took. The same way with a crush.
To top up I wonder what will happen when the actual meeting takes place. Are you going to stumble and fall because this is the likely way it will end up, however tough your composure can be you will be taken aback by such. This is a fear we may say holds me back from ever approaching my crush.
Recently, there have been teenage pregnancies with an increasing number of single mothers in our societies. And so, all the people I had crushed on seem to have had babies by now. I am 20 years old and it’s a bit odd. Though not a bad thing, I perceive it such that if I went to the market and got the option of choosing between a quality and not-so-quality fruit at the same reasonable price. I would go with the quality fruit because why not? (Another lame excuse but boils down to personal choice).
Every girl who in earlier interactions seemed not so inviting nowadays seems so inviting. The way you would invite a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter. Albeit never knowing what the tipping point was only to learn that she already has a baby. All of sudden you seem so open to your whims that you start blessing all your ancestors, you start to see that the stars are aligning to your favour and that the goodness of God has befallen you. But wary of the lurking danger of hoodwinking you to a trap. They sometimes turn aggressive, when you point out that you thought the baby was not theirs and only their relatives’ or neighbours’.
But then confronted with the evidence you start pulling away, just like the Olympics, GET, READY, & GO.
Well, is this an instance of lost love? I wonder should she not be with a baby could I go ahead and pounce on the prize or would there be a ticking time bomb ready to explode? Are my trust issues getting out of hand and am I turning mad lately?
